After creating an account and abandoning it for a long time, I decided to take it more seriously.. but to blog about what? I’m not an specialist or good at anything to write about it more than once or twice. I’m not interesting enough to have a wide audience, but posting pics and some random thoughts about myself was the only option I though I could carry on, so I decided to give it a shot. And so this blog is what it is.

Today is Saturday and I’ve worked all day. From 9 to 5, really. They’re showing Nevermind on TV and I remembered what was like to be a teen and enjoy that, and think that life was full of great, exciting things to be done, but I’m stuck here, days, hours, every second slips without being remotely relevant. I’ve been carrying myself through the days, always smiling and laughing, after all, my life is perfect, I have one or two friends, a job, a car (although the battery always fails me on friday when I desperately go home after work), health, youth… I remembered how it felt not so long ago, but it feels like I’m much older and frustrated. I dive face first in my stawberry-cream-cake and reckon I’ll never have a life again. I received a wedding invitation from a nice acquaintance, rich and I thought what the hell am I going to wear with this stomach, with this flabby arms and laughable figure? I’m not fat, just ugly, as I always have been… will I get prettier when I’m older? well, nevermind, but also, where am I going to make money to pay for their gift? they’re not thaaaat loaded, but they stand pretty good. Thank G some illuminated soul created gift-lists and credit cards. And the invitation is only for one, so I don’t need to create excuses for going solo. I’m happy for her, I really am, she is an awesome person and I wish from my heart the whole happiness in this world, but the gorgeously white-creamish printed paper reminded me that I’ll never have that. I’ll never marry, or if I do, never like that. I told my mom that, once she marvelled at the invitation’s clear signs of money and taste, and she said she never expected that from me anyway, since she herself never actually married my father, they only moved in together after I completed two. I’ll never be that kind of woman, I guess

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